Some athletic intellect:
Chicago Cubs outfielder Andre Dawson on being a role model:
"I want all the kids to do what I do, to look up to me. I want all the kids to copulate me."
New Orleans Saint RB George Rogers when asked about the upcoming
"I want to rush for 1,000 or 1,500 yards, whichever comes first."
Football commentator and former player Joe Theismann:
"Nobody in football should be called a genius. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein."
More athletic intellect:
Senior basketball player at the University of Pittsburgh:
"I'm going to graduate on time, no matter how long it takes."
Bill Peterson, a Florida State football coach:
"You guys line up alphabetically by height." and
"You guys pair up in groups of three, then line up in a circle."
Boxing promoter Dan Duva on Mike Tyson hooking up again with promoter Don
"Why would anyone expect him to come out smarter? He went to prison for three years, not Princeton."
And a little more athletic intellect:
Shaquille O'Neal, on whether he had visited the Parthenon during his visit
"I can't really remember the names of the clubs that we went to."
Shaquille O'Neal, on his lack of championships:
"I've won at every level, except college and pro."
Pat Williams, Orlando Magic general manager, on his team's 7-27 record in
"We can't win at home. We can't win on the road. As general manager, I just can't figure out where else to play."
And finally, the rest of the athletic intellect:
Chuck Nevitt, North Carolina State basketball player, explaining to Coach
Jim Valvano why he appeared nervous at practice:
"My sister's expecting a baby and I don't know if I'm going to be an uncle or an aunt."
Lincoln Kennedy, Oakland Raiders tackle, on his decision not to vote:
"I was going to write myself in, but I was afraid I'd get shot."
Frank Layden, Utah Jazz president, on a former player:
"I told him, 'Son, what is it with you? Is it ignorance or apathy?' He said, 'Coach, I don't know and I don't care.'"