Some athletic intellect:
Chicago Cubs outfielder Andre Dawson on being a role model:
"I want all the kids to do what I do, to look up to me. I want all
the kids to copulate me."
New Orleans Saint RB George Rogers when asked about the upcoming
season:
"I want to rush for 1,000 or 1,500 yards, whichever comes first."
Football commentator and former player Joe Theismann:
"Nobody in football should be called a genius. A genius is a guy like
Norman Einstein."
More athletic intellect:
Senior basketball player at the University of Pittsburgh:
"I'm going to graduate on time, no matter how long it takes."
Bill Peterson, a Florida State football coach:
"You guys line up alphabetically by height." and
"You guys pair up in groups of three, then line up in a circle."
Boxing promoter Dan Duva on Mike Tyson hooking up again with promoter Don
King:
"Why would anyone expect him to come out smarter? He went to prison
for three years, not Princeton."
And a little more athletic intellect:
Shaquille O'Neal, on whether he had visited the Parthenon during his visit
to Greece:
"I can't really remember the names of the clubs that we went to."
Shaquille O'Neal, on his lack of championships:
"I've won at every level, except college and pro."
Pat Williams, Orlando Magic general manager, on his team's 7-27 record in
1992:
"We can't win at home. We can't win on the road. As general
manager, I just can't figure out where else to play."
And finally, the rest of the athletic intellect:
Chuck Nevitt, North Carolina State basketball player, explaining to Coach
Jim Valvano why he appeared nervous at practice:
"My sister's expecting a baby and I don't know if I'm going to be an uncle
or an aunt."
Lincoln Kennedy, Oakland Raiders tackle, on his decision not to vote:
"I was going to write myself in, but I was afraid I'd get shot."
Frank Layden, Utah Jazz president, on a former player:
"I told him, 'Son, what is it with you? Is it ignorance or
apathy?' He said, 'Coach, I don't know and I don't care.'"