Week of May 28

Some athletic intellect:

Chicago Cubs outfielder Andre Dawson on being a role model:
"I want all the kids to do what I do, to look up to me.  I want all the kids to copulate me."

 New Orleans Saint RB George Rogers when asked about the upcoming season:
"I want to rush for 1,000 or 1,500 yards, whichever comes first."

Football commentator and former player Joe Theismann:
"Nobody in football should be called a genius.  A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein."


Week of May 21

More athletic intellect:

Senior basketball player at the University of Pittsburgh:
"I'm going to graduate on time, no matter how long it takes."

Bill Peterson, a Florida State football coach:
"You guys line up alphabetically by height."   and
"You guys pair up in groups of three, then line up in a circle."

Boxing promoter Dan Duva on Mike Tyson hooking up again with promoter Don King:
"Why would anyone expect him to come out smarter?  He went to prison for three years, not Princeton."


Week of May 14

And a little more athletic intellect:

Shaquille O'Neal, on whether he had visited the Parthenon during his visit to Greece:
"I can't really remember the names of the clubs that we went to."

Shaquille O'Neal, on his lack of championships:
"I've won at every level, except college and pro."

Pat Williams, Orlando Magic general manager, on his team's 7-27 record in 1992:
"We can't win at home.  We can't win on the road.  As general manager, I just can't figure out where else to play."


Week of May 7

And finally, the rest of the athletic intellect:

Chuck Nevitt, North Carolina State basketball player, explaining to Coach Jim Valvano why he appeared nervous at practice:
"My sister's expecting a baby and I don't know if I'm going to be an uncle or an aunt."

Lincoln Kennedy, Oakland Raiders tackle, on his decision not to vote:
"I was going to write myself in, but I was afraid I'd get shot."

Frank Layden, Utah Jazz president, on a former player:
"I told him, 'Son, what is it with you?  Is it ignorance or apathy?'  He said, 'Coach, I don't know and I don't care.'"


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